Six Things Not To Say To Your Friends Who Are Trying To Get Pregnant!
If you have friends struggling with infertility, be careful what you say, or you may add to their burden. Here are some casual comments that might seem innocent, but can emotionally kill your infertile friends.
"You don't know how lucky you are!"
If you ever say these words to a friend who struggles with infertility, count yourself lucky not to have them thrown back in your face. When you're a parent, the lives of childless couples might seem easy and laid back, but when all they desperately want is to be parents themselves, this comment can be insensitive. Children are all they pray for, wish for, and hope for, and any lack of appreciation on your part for your kids will seem to them unfair and sad.
Put Yourself In Their Shoes!
Think of Your Life Without Your Kids,
You'll Realise How Very Empty Life Would Be!
Sometimes, you'll communicate with infertile couples indirectly, like through Facebook or Twitter. Think before you post any comment complaining about pregnancy symptoms, weight gain, or the baby kicks that keep you up all night.
Any woman desiring to have a child but is unable to would willingly go through nine straight months of morning sickness, gain 60 pounds, and lie awake sleepless for days on end if it meant she could bring home her own little baby at the end of it all.
"Just think of all the time you and your husband get to yourselves!"Holidays can be especially rough times for couples struggling with infertility. They have no one to hide Easter eggs for, no one to take trick-or-treating, and no reason to look forward to Santa's arrival on Christmas Eve. They might have nieces and nephews or friends' children who act as surrogates, but nothing can compare with the joy that comes from raising a child together or the bond you share with your spouse when you bring a new life into the world.
"Aren't you glad you have more time for your career?"For many women, having a career has not been their lifelong dream. Some women view motherhood as their ultimate goal; something they've prepared for their whole lives. When infertility rears its ugly head, the loss of this dream can be difficult to deal with. It's like telling a medical student at the end of her schooling that there are no jobs available for her, and never will be. A whole theoretical future has been wiped out, and she's left wondering what to do with her life now.
"You could always adopt."
Adopting is a wonderful option for many families and a great opportunity to change a child's life. However, it isn't right for everyone. The expense alone is prohibitive, and there is no health insurance to cover it versus covering a pregnancy.
Besides the cost, there is nothing like conceiving and bringing a new life into the world that is uniquely a part of you and your spouse. Pregnancy bonds parents to a child long before he takes his first breath, and every mother dreams of being able to look into her child's face and seeing some characteristic of herself or her husband reflected there.
Do not assume because they've tried everything else, a couple will and should always turn to adoption at some point. It might not be right for them.
Source: Katie Nielsen FamilyShare
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